diFFerent

A few weeks ago, I went with a group of people from NMC to the WGM celebration at Indiana Weslyan. We got to do an awesome presentation on the baby center. I got to talk to one of the missionaries in Kenya about coming back. The entire night, I was very...bothered? uneasy? uncomfortable? The night was centered in on Africa and the past and current missionaries in Africa. They named off the countries and had the missionaries stand that work in that country, and maybe one or two couples would stand up for each country. Then, it came to Kenya. Ten or more couples/families stood up. In that moment something hit me...this isn't right. Why has this country become one that is almost more popular to minister in? I love Kenya. I love the people, the culture, the children. But this is only one little country in Africa. God said to make disciples of all nations. I feel like not much is being done in these other countries where the need is just as great, if not greater. On a list of orphans due to AIDS, Kenya doesn't make the top 10. Not even close. I saw how great the need was while I was in Kenya, so I cant even IMAGINE the need in these other countries where there are thousands more orphaned children.
A couple weeks ago, I went to Jr. high summer camp as a leader. The theme was diFFerent. I got to see God move in these kid's lives and I think they're getting it. The entire week was focused on how we should be different. How our lives shouldn't look like the lives of everyone else...we shouldn't blend in. So as I look at these two things that have occured in the past few weeks, it makes me think. God's definitely been stirring some things in my heart and in my head. What would happen if I would be different? Different in the way I look at school. Different in my family. Different in the way I approach my thoughts of Africa. What if I had an open mind to where I could be used instead of zooming in on Kenya? What if I gave up my dreams of Africa completely and gave it all over, fully surrendered to God? I think God has some pretty awesome plans for me that outweigh the plans I'd have for myself if i'm just focused on how I want to get back to Kenya. God's closed doors these past months for Kenya. I was so sure that this is where I wanted to be that I just assumed God would want me there too. God tends to be unpredictable :) I can't wait to see where God leads after school. He is doing great things in my life and is ocntinuing to provide for school. I just cant accept that God is done with me in Africa. I think I'll be back. But in the meantime, I'll just wait and live a life surrendered to his will.